Everyone knows that holidays can cause anxiety for a variety of reasons, including the cost, tricky family relationships, the extra work, etc.
Most people are also aware of individuals who are uncomfortable traveling. Once I spent an entire week with an upper-level executive who was phobic about air travel, doing systematic desensitization at the Cincinnati airport in order to get him comfortable enough to get on a plane. So fear of flying is definitely a thing. Other people are afraid of travel by ship. And some people are even claustrophobic about being on trains.
It makes sense then that holiday travel, which combines travel anxiety with holiday anxiety, might also be a thing and it turns out that it is. “Holidays are supposed to be a welcome break from the stress and strain of work and life. Away from emails, deadlines, and more, it’s a chance to relax – but for some, going away can trigger anxiety. (1) I think this is especially true for the Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays.
I can think of a lot of things that make traveling during the holidays more anxiety-provoking. One, especially if you live in the north, is the weather. It’s so much more difficult to predict and much more likely to be a factor. Another difficulty when it comes to traveling during the holidays is the fact that so many people do it, which makes it much harder to get a reservation, often more expensive, and sometimes next to impossible, depending upon how early you start planning.
It’s also much more crowded at the airports during the holidays, which means longer lines when it comes to ground transportation, getting your bags, and getting to your hotel or beach house. This all adds to the stress of holiday travel. The other thing about holiday travel is that it usually involves family members. Often you are either taking them with you, or you are going to visit them. I think there is a big difference between a family trip and a vacation. I have always maintained that for a couple a “vacation” is something they do by themselves, like a trip to the Bahamas or Hawaii, or that long-awaited trip to Europe, that they always wanted to take. That’s a vacation.
A “family” trip is not necessarily a vacation when you consider that you still have all of the responsibilities or the needs of your children, compounded by the fact that you have none of the things that you can count on at home to make it easier to accommodate their needs like their favorite foods, a washing machine, or their favorite entertainment to relieve some of the stress on you. Or, if some do not have children, especially if you are the “child” returning to the family home, you have all of that baggage. And, I’m not talking about your suitcases…..
Not saying it can’t be done, and certainly not saying it isn’t worth it. Just saying it may not feel like a vacation. When I think of vacation, I think relaxation, rejuvenation or reuniting with a partner or with nature or with your soul… stuff like that. Family trips by their very nature, as joyous as they may be, can definitely create anxiety for every member of the family for very different reasons. Children may find it hard to disrupt their regular schedules, teens may miss their boy/girlfriends. Parents may dread being back home with their crazy aunt, or the cost may be an issue no matter how long they saved, how much they prepared for it, or the whole family may be worried about leaving the dog behind 🙂
“Whether it’s trying to organize a family trip with kids, visiting your parents, or the pressure to have an amazing time, going away can be stressful” according to a survey by Booking.com. (2) “More than one in three people worry about things going wrong on the first day of their holiday.” Traveling can be so stressful for some people that they actually end up having panic attacks prior to or during their trip. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Depending on the trigger, there are a number of things that you can do to avoid this type of anxiety.
1. Start your planning early. The earlier the better. Do the research, get the best price, and leave yourself time for unexpected contingencies.
2. Be realistic as far as your expectations. Don’t try to make it the perfect vacation or the perfect family trip. You’re not doing this to win a prize for the best vacation so don’t worry about comparing it to anyone else’s vacation. Take the pressure off as much as you can by having realistic expectations, and communicating the same to those with whom you will be traveling.
3. Set boundaries. With your children, your spouse, and the relatives you will be visiting. If you don’t want to drive 4 hours when you arrive at your vacation site to visit another family member, or spend New Year’s Eve drinking, or get embroiled in political discussions, then don’t. Kindly decline.
4. Stick to your budget. There are so many things you can do that don’t require spending large sums of money. Focus on the joy of being with loved ones. Resist the temptation to overspend. On the other hand, lose the guilt about pampering yourself a little bit.
5. Just because you’re on vacation doesn’t mean you have to eat and drink too much. Make it a spa vacation even if there isn’t a spa. Find the healthiest foods. Take a walk, and use the gym, it’s actually an opportunity to be more healthy because you have the luxury of free time. Both physically and mentally.
Citations/Quotes
1. Lydia Smith
(https://patient.info/authors/lydia-smith)
2. Booking.com
(https://news.booking.com/finding-your-holiday-mode-mojo/)
