January 10, 2023

Labeling

Labeling is an error of thinking characterized by generalizing one or two negative qualities and applying them to every situation without any consideration for context. When something bad happens once, a person who has this error of thinking will ignore all previous/other successes and label themselves or others with this nature of failure for all time. They are using linear thinking, i.e. A causes B. I overate and gained two pounds, which means that I have no willpower or self-discipline and I will always be fat and ugly. Or I have only lost unwanted weight in the past by restricting and then purging what I eat, so that is the only way I will be able to lose weight going forward. Global labeling has no complexity, no nuance. There is no room for the exception to the rule, or the impact of circumstances. It is incredibly simplistic and as a result, inaccurate.  

When projected outward toward others, global labeling can really represent some of the worst kind of thinking, like stereotyping and prejudice. Expect snap judgments and relationship problems when someone is thinking this way. If you are labeling yourself, you are damaging your self-esteem and you owe it to yourself to shake this error of thinking.

So how do you do that?

  • Take a DBT training program that will help you to suspend judgment in general.

  • Ask yourself, am I giving an accurate account of what happened? Am I providing context? Or am I just negatively labeling myself/others?

  • When considering your thoughts about others, ask yourself, am I considering this person as an individual? Or am I lumping him/her into a group based on only one or two characteristics/experiences I’ve had with them or other people like them?

I think this is particularly important today with politics being so polarizing in the U.S. I see families who cannot make it through a meal without someone leaving in a huff of anger.

Emotional Reasoning

This distortion of thinking can be summed up by the statement, “If I feel this way, it must be true.” For example, if you fear flying in a plane, then planes must be dangerous. 

Whatever a person is feeling is believed to be true automatically and unconditionally. They are usually very well-defended in their beliefs, such that trying to shake the belief is virtually impossible. This is because emotions are extremely strong in some people and can overrule any rational thoughts and reasoning. If a person feels stupid and boring, then they are stupid and boring. If an adult Anorexic feels fat, even when s/he weighs less than an 8-year-old child, s/he is fat.

One of the offshoots in U.S. society of the predominance of this type of thinking is the new colloquialism of people stating a thought as a feeling. “I feel like the sign should be on the outside of the building where more people could see it.”

This is not a feeling. It is a thought, a belief, or an opinion. It is NOT a feeling. (Admittedly, this drives me nuts, especially when I start doing it myself.) But because we have all come to place such high value on feelings being a form of truth, instead of an actual feeling, we are reinforcing this logical fallacy by stating all thoughts as feelings. 

I think the other reason we do this in the U.S. is that we are actually afraid to state an opinion, but we are ok stating a feeling. Who can argue with a feeling? The problem is we are stating an opinion as a feeling. It’s nuts. I notice this much more with women than with men. I believe that it is a way that women have found to express their thoughts without offending anyone. I mean like, anyone.

Bottomline:

You have a right to feel what you feel, think what you think, and (most importantly) ask others to respect your boundaries. If you would like help with figuring out what your boundaries are and how to set them, feel free to reach out to me today at (513) 205-6543.