May 19, 2022

In my last article on anxiety among teens, I talked about the increase in eating disorders as an outgrowth of anxiety. In this article I will explore the issue of body image, the role anxiety plays in driving poor body image and offer some suggestions for both identifying and intervening early with your child. This topic is critical when you consider that mental health disorders are the most common illnesses that children under the age of 18 experience.

The rise of anxiety and depression among America’s youth is well documented no matter where you look. In fact, all you have to do is ask them; Whether or not they personally suffer from these conditions, seven-in-ten teens today see them as major problems among their peers according to a Pew Research Center survey of US teens ages 13 to 17.  According to their research, the problem of anxiety and depression seems to cut across gender, racial, and socio-economic lines, with equal shares of teens in each of these groups saying it is a significant issue for them. 

For the purposes of this discussion we will focus on anxiety that takes the form of body image issues and eating disorders.  Research has found that 53 percent of young American girls report having negative feelings about their bodies. By the time they reach the age of 17, that number grows to 78 percent. Boys are not immune to this negative self-talk. Approximately 30% of elementary school boys say they wish they could lose weight.

It makes sense that teens struggle with body image when you consider that the teenage years are a time of rapid developmental changes in the body. These changes, which are just a normal part of puberty, can still be catastrophic for some teens, especially if they are over focused on weight and if they lean toward perfectionistic views of what a body should look like.

There was an interesting study with three–year-olds that clearly demonstrated they were aware of the weight issue in our society. These little ones were given either a thin doll or a chubby doll during a play session. Those with the chubby dolls displayed anger, frustration and fury at the prospect of being stuck with the chubby dolls. They were three! This experiment demonstrates how early in a child’s development this intense pressure to conform to an ideal body image begins. Not only is it a part of the way they perceive the world, they also act on these fears as most preteens report having been on some sort of a diet by the fourth grade.

According to the research of the Statistics on Girls & Women’s Self Esteem, Pressures & Leadership, the following percentages are common among US teenage girls:

Pressure & Perfectionism

The pressure to be perfect has consequences, for example 1 in 4 girls today fall into a clinical diagnosis – depression, eating disorders, cutting, and other mental/emotional disorders.  On top of these, many more report being constantly anxious, sleep deprived, and under significant pressure. 

In addition:

  • 98% of girls feel there is an immense pressure from external sources to look a certain way (National Report on Self Esteem)

  • 92% of teen girls would like to change something about the way they look, with body weight ranking the highest. (Dove campaign)

  • 90% of eating disorders are found in girls (National Association for Self Esteem)

  • 74% of girls say they are under pressure to please everyone (Girls Inc, The Supergirl Dilemma)

  • 53% of American girls age 13 are “unhappy with their bodies.”  This grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen. (National Institute on Media and the Family)

So what’s a parent to do?

It is important that we teach our children to accept their bodies. Along those lines try to emphasize two things: Acceptance and Liking and Caring for your body:

Accept Your Body

  • Rule Out Perfectionism for What It Is – Unattainable. No one is perfect. Help  your child accept her/himself for who they are. Encourage them to find the things that they like about their body; their eyes, smile. Ask them what their friends like about them.

  • Positive Self-talk – Help our child  focus on what they DO like about their body’s and encourage them to let go of the habit of putting themselves down and developing a habit of positive self-talk. No more body shaming! Encourage a focus on what their body’s CAN do. 

Take Care of Your Body

  • Teach Them the Joys of Eating Clean Foods (Clean Food Handout) Learn what foods are good for you, but more importantly, learn how good they taste. 

  • Be active every day. You do not necessarily need to “exercise” but you do need to move your body every day to be healthy. Your child can play a sport, walk places, join a swim team, etc. Most important is that they do something physical that they enjoy. 

  • No Dieting – Regardless of whether or not your child has a weight issue, dieting is not the solution, mostly because it doesn’t work. Clean eating does. 

  • Rest Well – This does not mean sleeping a lot.  It means sleeping well each night instead of staying up all night on social media or gaming.  Get to bed on time. Turn off screens hours before bedtime so you can sleep well.

As a parent it is important to be aware of the role you play in the way your child perceives body image. Children pick up on even the most subtle cues, such as body language. Stressing about  the way you look, or going on a diet can send messages such as the following to your child:

  • My body has to be perfect.

  • I’m not satisfied with my body.

  • A perfect body would make me happy.

  • A perfect body would earn me acceptance from others.

  • A perfect body would earn love and admiration, even attention.

  • Perfection is defined by a number on the scale or a size on a tag.

  • I will do anything to have a perfect body.

At the end of the day, we have a lot of influence as parents and if we are aware of the impact, we have a much better chance of mitigating the pressures our children experience. That said, the pressures are great and you cannot control all of them. So don’t beat yourself up if your child ends up with an eating disorder. It is definitely not your fault. In my next article I will tell you what to look for when it comes to signs of an eating disorder.

I am the Eating Disorder Pro and I can help.