When was the last time that you celebrated yourself? No really, when was the last time that you took the time to acknowledge how far you have come? Yes, every New Year we make goals and promises to ourselves to do better only to sit down a year later barely remembering what we had promised the year before. Now while Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, we concern ourselves with dinner dates, chocolate-covered candies, and whatnot, but do we really take the time to love ourselves? Carl Whitaker, a well-known family therapist, once said:
“There are no individuals in the world, only fragments of families.”
This is not just limited to the traditional definition of family either. We give ourselves to friends, significant others, coworkers, clients, anyone who we donate significant amounts of time and energy to yet somehow, we ourselves do not make the list. If this is true, then do we ever really take the time to love ourselves if we spend so much time loving others?
Whether you have plans for this upcoming holiday or not, take some time to be your own Valentine. One thing that you can do is to give yourself some compassion. We go through life being critical of ourselves and the choices we make. Sometimes we even hold onto those critical thoughts and begin to think negatively about ourselves because of it. It could be something embarrassing that happened, not doing well on an assignment or test, getting fired, picking your face, or even forgetting someone’s birthday. Whatever it is, continuing to beat yourself up over it won’t change it. Imagine if your best friend told you that they were being unkind to themselves. You would tell them that it’s ridiculous and they should accept minor failures and move on. Right? Do you deserve less?
Bottom line, be your own best friend and be kind to yourself. Take a break. Take a deep breath. Step back from the situation and ask yourself what you can really do about it. If there’s nothing you can immediately do then release yourself from the tension that you have been holding for so long. Even take the time to practice some Emotional Freedom Tapping to remind yourself that no matter what is going on you completely accept and love yourself. If that doesn’t work because the issue was traumatic, give me a call and/or read her article on EMDR.
